Sunday, March 21, 2010

If only I knew then what I know now....

I turned another year older yesterday. Yes, the sands of time are catching up with me. I am in the process of investigating wrinkle creams (though that is a conversation for a different blog I'm sure; still suggestions are appreciated), and am considering getting serious about pilates. I need things to stay in place. I've got some years to go and I just can't get away from this gravity stuff! Its all around me all the time!
Okay, the point is, looking back, you always wish you would have done things differently. I wish I wouldn't have done that perm on Christmas day of 2000. My sister Abby's turned out amazing. Mine, turned out disastrous. We washed it right away (skipping the 3 day no wash policy) to try to get it out FAST, and it still stayed in my hair until I finally cut the last bit out two years later. Looking back, that was a mistake.
The adoption process is the same way. Mostly, we're all new at this. We try to gain wisdom from those who have gone before us, or from our agency, or from people in the field, but really it is one of those unique journeys in life that can be commonly shared yet be vastly different for so many of us. I find that so strange yet so fascinating at the same time. Here we are, all gathering roughly the same documents and putting together roughly the same paperwork, give or take a document here or there, picture pages here or there, family presentations here or there, and sending them to countries around the world or to just across town, and the quest that these documents take us on are so different. That is why I love reading your stories. Your love stories between you and your children. No two are the same and that is so beautiful.
Now, back to what I wish I would have known. I wish I would have known I needed TWO certified copies of my marriage certificate - one for my dossier and one for my CIS application - because I thought I only needed one and now I have to go back across town and get another one.
I wish I would have done the homestudy FIRST so that I could be getting the rest of my dossier done while waiting on my homestudy report to be written, but instead we did it last and now just get to.... wait.....
I wish I would have known I would have turned into a slightly hyperactive and stressed out not pregnant but sort of acting like I'm pregnant minus all the cravings and sickness (so really just moody) person. I don't know what I could have done about it, but at least I wouldn't have been in denial about it for so long. As they say, "Denial is not a river in Egypt." Acceptance is good.
I wish I would have gotten my doctor to sign me up to a clean bill of health when I saw her in September so I wouldn't have to scramble my way into an emergency physical. Of course, we hadn't settled on Rwanda in September, and I definitely didn't have the medical form needed then, but still, this is hypothetical, and that is what I wish.

So there are a few things for you newbies just starting out on the journey of independent adoption from Rwanda. Turns out I had my items slightly out of order for getting the dossier completed in the most time effective manner. If efficiency is your game, you may want to take these notes under advisement. Disclaimer: I can not be held responsible if you go mental in the process.

1 comment:

  1. Ha ha, that is exactly what I was thinking this morning. We brought in our criminal record checks to the police station and I asked for fingerprinting. The woman looked at me strangely and said I didn't need that for the adoption. I told "but everyone in the States needs FBI clearance and fingerprints, etc, so I must need to be fingerprinted." They didn't think so. Then I just realized that lots of the documents are not just for the dossier, but for the home study too. Oops! We start our home study tomorrow and I don't have any of my personal references or anything! I just wish there was a comprehensive, step-by-step guide. But I suppose different States, countries, provinces do things differently. I just try to read as much as I can of everyone else's blogs and take it from there:) Are you doing this independently, or with an agency?