Friday, January 1, 2010

My Dad Point of View

A lot of people ask us why we are adopting. Some of them preface the question with "Do you mind if I ask.." or something similar as if they are intruding into our personal space. Most of my friends know that I don't really pay any regard to the cultural lines of personal space, sometimes to the point of Rachel's embarrassment. But the truth is: we love talking about it, both of us. I don't always manage to make what I say match what I thought however, like my brain and mouth are playing a horrible game of telephone. So I thought I'd write here where I can think it through and delete the parts that only make sense to myself.

There are really two significant parts to speak of, one being the decision to adopt and the second being from where to adopt children.

Rachel and I never had a long period of discussing about whether to adopt a child. We always felt that we eventually would reach out to a child that needed a family and love it. Knowing God's love is such a blessing and such a huge part of our life that we can't help but want to experience it further. God uses marriage to teach me to love and to choose to love everyday. And He uses children to teach me to love unconditionally while at the same time providing for needs and caring for something entirely dependent on Rachel and I. They don't even know they are dependent on us. This week I experienced that moment that (probably) most parents have when their child tells them they don't love them. And all I could say was "I still love you. And I will always love you." I don't know what to say, but I know that if I tell God I don't love Him, He will still love me.

I guess the long and short of it is that we feel adoption of a child mimics God's adoption of us, improves or saves a child's life, and teaches us more about God, love and life.

Secondly, we had to decide a place to look for a child. I'd like to claim some credit for this, but really my wife's attentive heart was led to Rwanda. A place to adopt always seemed like a logistical choice for me. Pick one that we fit requirements for, choose one that you can afford or that has a good time period or many other similar reasons. But after reading and praying and listening, Rachel strongly felt like God had a child in Rwanda for us. She handed me a book called Land of a Thousand Hills, a biography of Rosamond Carr, an American woman that lived in Rwanda for 50 years and witnessed many wonderful and many horrible things.

While reading this book, I fell in love with the country and felt a sadness and a hopefulness for the people there. The Genocide there has left many homeless and fatherless, and God has called us many times over to care for those in need. After I finished the book, I did some research and found that logistically, everything about Rwanda was perfect for us. Praise God.


  1. thanks for the man-view, look forward to reading more from your perspective. love you, babes.

  2. It's so touching to hear the musings of a father:)

  3. Nice post. I recently read an adoption book that said what if we answered the question “Why did you decide to adopt?” with “Why did you decide to give birth to your child?” A snarky response, but really for both questions the answer is the same: Because they’re my child, and I love them.