This morning I got to do the best thing ever. I got to go see a fully notarized and authenticated complete Rwandan dossier! I know, awesome, right! There is a small little group of us here in Austin that are adopting independently from Rwanda, and Emily won the dossier race. She was kind enough to invite everyone over to look at it before she sends it away to Washington and then to Kigali, never to be seen again. And not only that, she made lists of her table of contents for us to take home - a million thanks to her!
In this adoption journey, you need people to walk beside you. When we started, I'll be honest, I heard that advice and I despaired a bit. We have amazing friends, amazing friends who are adoptive parents, who are even currently in the process of adopting now, that share our heart for adoption and can relate to so many aspects of this journey. But its different when you have an agency walking next to you checking your p's and q's, making sure all your documents are in order, that all your i's are dotted and so on. Doing this independently is scary. Let me tell you how unbelievable it is to have this group of families seem to fall out of the sky and into our laps four months into our process. It is such a gift to have a group to turn to just to ask questions like "uh, did you include this statement in your dossier, and if so, did you get it authenticated or just notarized, etc..." Not to mention that the value of our kids being able to play together and share a common cultural background and appearance also can not be overstated. For now I am excited to have met a few of the women in this group, and I look forward to meeting the rest of the couples (there are six of us, including me and Jonathan). We have a no-kids-allowed dinner scheduled on March 6th so that we can all properly meet and get to know one another in person.
And I have finally decided on the home study. We are going to use Bonita, the independent social worker. I just feel like its going to be okay. So now I can move forward on getting the forms ready for that, and we can be on our way. Phew. Feels good to type that out loud.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
A Future and A Hope
Today Jonathan and I got to go to an adoption conference put on by a church here in town called A Future and A Hope Adoption Conference. It breathed renewal into me in so many ways. The keynote speaker spoke a message that was honest and true, and whenever a speaker does that, the message is powerful to me. I cried during his message, and I don't usually cry. Then Aaron Ivey blessed us with playing his song, Amos Story, about his and his wife's journey to bring their son, Amos, and their daughter, Story, home from Haiti (I believe I mentioned them in a previous blog). As Aaron played that song, I started crying again. I think I have just been so emotional lately. It feels like we have been on pause lately with our adoption. I hate pause. I am a proactive, move forward, get things done, doer. I don't like the waiting or patience that God sometimes requires of me, and seems to be requiring more of me lately as we sort through some opportunities that have come our way. But today was so amazing. It was so fun to be around like-minded people, to not have to try to justify a decision, to just be understood. And to see our little Austin Rwanda group together for the first time - that was just cool!
As the speaker was expounding on the nature of both vertical and horizontal adoption, a passage from "Adopted for Life" by Russell Moore came to mind. If you haven't read this book, I highly recommend it. The discussion topic entails that adoption and redemption are entwined; that even creation waits and is groaning under the chains that hold it down. It longs to be free. It longs to be "adopted out" and set into the kingdom of God. Here's how Moore puts it, he says it much better than I do:
"You see that's the whole story of redemption. The universe was meant to be a home- where the image-bearers of God rule and serve under their Father. It was all to be ours. The primeval insurrection in the garden, though, turned the universe into an orphanage - the heirs were gone, done in by their appetites. A serpent now holds the cosmos in captivity, driving along the deposed rulers as his slaves. The whole universe is now an orphanage.
But then there's Jesus.
When we were still orphans, Christ became a substitute orphan for us. Though he was a son, he took on the humiliation of a slave and the horror of death (Phil. 2:6-8). Jesus walked to that far country with us, even to the depths of the hog pen that we'd made our home, and hung on a tree abandoned by his Father in our place."
I love that passage so much because it just makes so much sense to me. Orphanages are no more natural and make no more sense to me than most things in this world. Earlier this week a crazy man flew a single engine plane into an IRS building about a mile and half from our house. The world is broken and the evidence is all around. I love the image of Jesus walking to that far off land. We as adoptive parents often travel to far off countries, endure long plane rides and bad food. How little we have to complain about. How short-sighted my perspective often is.
To everyone asking us "what's happening with our adoption?" we are just stuck trying to decide who to do our homestudy with. There are two agencies familiar with Rwandan dossiers in or around Austin that we would be comfortable using, or we have the option for a much lower cost (as in half as much) to use an independent social worker to complete the homestudy. She does not have experience with Rwanda, other than doing two other couple's reports adopting from Rwanda that we know. I would ordinarily save money without thinking twice about it, but for some reason I am thinking twice about it and I don't know why. Cost is a real issue for us, however, so I am sort of in this limbo state and I just can not seem to make a decision for the life of me. Thoughts and/or advice are always appreciated! So that's where we're at - hope to be somewhere else next time you ask. Progress is always my goal.
As the speaker was expounding on the nature of both vertical and horizontal adoption, a passage from "Adopted for Life" by Russell Moore came to mind. If you haven't read this book, I highly recommend it. The discussion topic entails that adoption and redemption are entwined; that even creation waits and is groaning under the chains that hold it down. It longs to be free. It longs to be "adopted out" and set into the kingdom of God. Here's how Moore puts it, he says it much better than I do:
"You see that's the whole story of redemption. The universe was meant to be a home- where the image-bearers of God rule and serve under their Father. It was all to be ours. The primeval insurrection in the garden, though, turned the universe into an orphanage - the heirs were gone, done in by their appetites. A serpent now holds the cosmos in captivity, driving along the deposed rulers as his slaves. The whole universe is now an orphanage.
But then there's Jesus.
When we were still orphans, Christ became a substitute orphan for us. Though he was a son, he took on the humiliation of a slave and the horror of death (Phil. 2:6-8). Jesus walked to that far country with us, even to the depths of the hog pen that we'd made our home, and hung on a tree abandoned by his Father in our place."
I love that passage so much because it just makes so much sense to me. Orphanages are no more natural and make no more sense to me than most things in this world. Earlier this week a crazy man flew a single engine plane into an IRS building about a mile and half from our house. The world is broken and the evidence is all around. I love the image of Jesus walking to that far off land. We as adoptive parents often travel to far off countries, endure long plane rides and bad food. How little we have to complain about. How short-sighted my perspective often is.
To everyone asking us "what's happening with our adoption?" we are just stuck trying to decide who to do our homestudy with. There are two agencies familiar with Rwandan dossiers in or around Austin that we would be comfortable using, or we have the option for a much lower cost (as in half as much) to use an independent social worker to complete the homestudy. She does not have experience with Rwanda, other than doing two other couple's reports adopting from Rwanda that we know. I would ordinarily save money without thinking twice about it, but for some reason I am thinking twice about it and I don't know why. Cost is a real issue for us, however, so I am sort of in this limbo state and I just can not seem to make a decision for the life of me. Thoughts and/or advice are always appreciated! So that's where we're at - hope to be somewhere else next time you ask. Progress is always my goal.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
We've Got Coffee!!
Our "Coffee Store" is now up and running. Simply click on the Just Love Coffee icon at the top right corner of our blog and it will take you directly to our coffee storefront. There you will find a wide variety of fair trade coffees in all roasts and blends, as well as espressos and even some apparel. There are usually some featured coffees on the page, but there are many more on the left hand panel. We get a portion of everything ordered from our page, and then we get to use all that money for our adoption costs - hooray! So, in conclusion, you guys get awesome fair trade coffees, and we get some help in bringing those beautiful kids home - everybody wins!
So, if you don't mind, think big. Does your office order coffee? Maybe your office could order from us every once in while (or all the time, that would be fine too). Do people you know like coffee (probably huh? most people do..), maybe they would like our coffee. They probably would. Our coffee is really good. Better than the coffee they are already drinking. Better than the coffee you are already drinking. Uh-oh. You better buy some coffee from us too, quick. Do those same people you know that drink coffee also work in an office that orders coffee? You see where I'm going with this...
And you don't always have to direct them to this blog to get them to our store. Here is our store web address - feel free to hand this baby out to anyone you know who has the slightest hint of coffee breath. www.justlovecoffee.com/spies
So, cheers! Cheers to drinking lots and lots of our coffee.
So, if you don't mind, think big. Does your office order coffee? Maybe your office could order from us every once in while (or all the time, that would be fine too). Do people you know like coffee (probably huh? most people do..), maybe they would like our coffee. They probably would. Our coffee is really good. Better than the coffee they are already drinking. Better than the coffee you are already drinking. Uh-oh. You better buy some coffee from us too, quick. Do those same people you know that drink coffee also work in an office that orders coffee? You see where I'm going with this...
And you don't always have to direct them to this blog to get them to our store. Here is our store web address - feel free to hand this baby out to anyone you know who has the slightest hint of coffee breath. www.justlovecoffee.com/spies
So, cheers! Cheers to drinking lots and lots of our coffee.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
On the Ground in Haiti
Just wanted to point everyone over to our friends Jeremy and Christina's blog, http://jeremyandchristina.blogspot.com/ . Jeremy is an ER doctor and just arrived in Haiti to help with the medical needs over there. Christina posted an email that she got from him and it gives you an idea of what it is really like on the ground over there. Thanks, Christina, for sharing, and prayers for Jeremy to stay safe and healthy while he's over there.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
More Haiti
There has been so much chatter inside my head this week concerning the situation in Haiti. The news coverage has alternately made me inwardly scream with anger at the an anchors for completely getting it wrong or cheer for them for getting a story right. For days and days I wondered, WHERE ARE THE STORIES ON THE ORPHANAGES??? Where are the stories on the American kids stuck in crumbled orphanages that no longer even exist now sleeping in fields surviving on 1/3 of a cup of water a day (maybe) if they are lucky and no food, no formula for the babies, with loving families just waiting for them here at home? I knew the situation at the Bresma orphanage was growing increasingly dire, as it was at God's Littlest Angels. From their reports, I was only able to surmise what other orphanages must be going through. Fuel shortages to run their generators and therefor purify their water. Food and water shortages. No aid arriving. Sitting in the the sun, sleeping outside to avoid aftershocks. Babies in great need of hydration. My heart was beginning to sicken. I can not handle thinking of these things.
And then, the stories started happening. The push on the blogs maybe started paying off. You would do anything for your children, would you not? I would. If my child was sitting in a field literally dying of thirst, I would camp myself out and bang on every government official's door I could find. I would call every network. Get on every show. Tell EVERYONE. And you know what? It worked. A major TV push. Publicity. Crying mothers and fathers, video of beautiful helpless children. Governor Ed Rendell of Pennsylvania flew a plane down to Haiti last night and escorted 54 orphans back to the states, where they will receive medical care and nourishment until their families can come pick them up.
Today I am hearing still more focus from the news on the orphan situation in Haiti. I am relieved to see this focus happening. Haiti's adoption process is long, involved, and hard. Many of these parents have been waiting to bring these children home for years. This earthquake was horrific. No parent wants their child to go through something like this, especially away from them. But if any good can come of it, then let it come. Let these adoptions, that are already legal and in the final stages, be expedited and finalized so that these kids can join the families that they belong to.
And to those who are splittering and splathering on tv about the running of the airstrip and how its not fair that an airplane got to land to pick up orphans, while critical supply planes had to wait, well I have a lot to say to you. None of it is nice. None of it is helpful to the situation. All of it would make me feel better. I will exercise something I am not accustomed to exercising, and that is some self-control. But I did throw a styrofoam dart at your face.
And then, the stories started happening. The push on the blogs maybe started paying off. You would do anything for your children, would you not? I would. If my child was sitting in a field literally dying of thirst, I would camp myself out and bang on every government official's door I could find. I would call every network. Get on every show. Tell EVERYONE. And you know what? It worked. A major TV push. Publicity. Crying mothers and fathers, video of beautiful helpless children. Governor Ed Rendell of Pennsylvania flew a plane down to Haiti last night and escorted 54 orphans back to the states, where they will receive medical care and nourishment until their families can come pick them up.
Today I am hearing still more focus from the news on the orphan situation in Haiti. I am relieved to see this focus happening. Haiti's adoption process is long, involved, and hard. Many of these parents have been waiting to bring these children home for years. This earthquake was horrific. No parent wants their child to go through something like this, especially away from them. But if any good can come of it, then let it come. Let these adoptions, that are already legal and in the final stages, be expedited and finalized so that these kids can join the families that they belong to.
And to those who are splittering and splathering on tv about the running of the airstrip and how its not fair that an airplane got to land to pick up orphans, while critical supply planes had to wait, well I have a lot to say to you. None of it is nice. None of it is helpful to the situation. All of it would make me feel better. I will exercise something I am not accustomed to exercising, and that is some self-control. But I did throw a styrofoam dart at your face.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Haiti
The adoption community is small and will shrink your world as it widens it. At least it has mine. It makes news stories of human tragedy personal. Every third world country now means something to me. Hunger and civil wars, human trafficking, genocides of course; but yesterday when the earthquake hit Haiti, I had the news on in the background and heard the breaking news alert. It stopped me in my tracks. I had just talked to a mom at Asher's school three hours before who has an absolutely beautiful daughter from Haiti, and who is waiting to get her daughter's brother from Haiti as well, but who is currently still in Haiti. I immediately thought of her, and her son Amos (who is in Haiti). I can not imagine what it is like to be a mom away from your son or daughter and not know if they are okay or not. Thankfully, they received word that Amos is just fine. Please read her blog, dreamingbigdreams, located on my blog roll, as she has amazing ways to support Haiti in the relief effort (plus her blog is just awesome anyway). Also, if you are in Austin, her and her husband are going to be on KXAN at 6:00 tonight (1/13) to talk about their story and ways to help Haiti, so check that out as well.
Friday, January 1, 2010
My Dad Point of View
A lot of people ask us why we are adopting. Some of them preface the question with "Do you mind if I ask.." or something similar as if they are intruding into our personal space. Most of my friends know that I don't really pay any regard to the cultural lines of personal space, sometimes to the point of Rachel's embarrassment. But the truth is: we love talking about it, both of us. I don't always manage to make what I say match what I thought however, like my brain and mouth are playing a horrible game of telephone. So I thought I'd write here where I can think it through and delete the parts that only make sense to myself.
There are really two significant parts to speak of, one being the decision to adopt and the second being from where to adopt children.
Rachel and I never had a long period of discussing about whether to adopt a child. We always felt that we eventually would reach out to a child that needed a family and love it. Knowing God's love is such a blessing and such a huge part of our life that we can't help but want to experience it further. God uses marriage to teach me to love and to choose to love everyday. And He uses children to teach me to love unconditionally while at the same time providing for needs and caring for something entirely dependent on Rachel and I. They don't even know they are dependent on us. This week I experienced that moment that (probably) most parents have when their child tells them they don't love them. And all I could say was "I still love you. And I will always love you." I don't know what to say, but I know that if I tell God I don't love Him, He will still love me.
I guess the long and short of it is that we feel adoption of a child mimics God's adoption of us, improves or saves a child's life, and teaches us more about God, love and life.
Secondly, we had to decide a place to look for a child. I'd like to claim some credit for this, but really my wife's attentive heart was led to Rwanda. A place to adopt always seemed like a logistical choice for me. Pick one that we fit requirements for, choose one that you can afford or that has a good time period or many other similar reasons. But after reading and praying and listening, Rachel strongly felt like God had a child in Rwanda for us. She handed me a book called Land of a Thousand Hills, a biography of Rosamond Carr, an American woman that lived in Rwanda for 50 years and witnessed many wonderful and many horrible things.
While reading this book, I fell in love with the country and felt a sadness and a hopefulness for the people there. The Genocide there has left many homeless and fatherless, and God has called us many times over to care for those in need. After I finished the book, I did some research and found that logistically, everything about Rwanda was perfect for us. Praise God.
There are really two significant parts to speak of, one being the decision to adopt and the second being from where to adopt children.
Rachel and I never had a long period of discussing about whether to adopt a child. We always felt that we eventually would reach out to a child that needed a family and love it. Knowing God's love is such a blessing and such a huge part of our life that we can't help but want to experience it further. God uses marriage to teach me to love and to choose to love everyday. And He uses children to teach me to love unconditionally while at the same time providing for needs and caring for something entirely dependent on Rachel and I. They don't even know they are dependent on us. This week I experienced that moment that (probably) most parents have when their child tells them they don't love them. And all I could say was "I still love you. And I will always love you." I don't know what to say, but I know that if I tell God I don't love Him, He will still love me.
I guess the long and short of it is that we feel adoption of a child mimics God's adoption of us, improves or saves a child's life, and teaches us more about God, love and life.
Secondly, we had to decide a place to look for a child. I'd like to claim some credit for this, but really my wife's attentive heart was led to Rwanda. A place to adopt always seemed like a logistical choice for me. Pick one that we fit requirements for, choose one that you can afford or that has a good time period or many other similar reasons. But after reading and praying and listening, Rachel strongly felt like God had a child in Rwanda for us. She handed me a book called Land of a Thousand Hills, a biography of Rosamond Carr, an American woman that lived in Rwanda for 50 years and witnessed many wonderful and many horrible things.
While reading this book, I fell in love with the country and felt a sadness and a hopefulness for the people there. The Genocide there has left many homeless and fatherless, and God has called us many times over to care for those in need. After I finished the book, I did some research and found that logistically, everything about Rwanda was perfect for us. Praise God.
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