A Future and A Hope

Today Jonathan and I got to go to an adoption conference put on by a church here in town called A Future and A Hope Adoption Conference. It breathed renewal into me in so many ways. The keynote speaker spoke a message that was honest and true, and whenever a speaker does that, the message is powerful to me. I cried during his message, and I don't usually cry. Then Aaron Ivey blessed us with playing his song, Amos Story, about his and his wife's journey to bring their son, Amos, and their daughter, Story, home from Haiti (I believe I mentioned them in a previous blog). As Aaron played that song, I started crying again. I think I have just been so emotional lately. It feels like we have been on pause lately with our adoption. I hate pause. I am a proactive, move forward, get things done, doer. I don't like the waiting or patience that God sometimes requires of me, and seems to be requiring more of me lately as we sort through some opportunities that have come our way. But today was so amazing. It was so fun to be around like-minded people, to not have to try to justify a decision, to just be understood. And to see our little Austin Rwanda group together for the first time - that was just cool!
As the speaker was expounding on the nature of both vertical and horizontal adoption, a passage from "Adopted for Life" by Russell Moore came to mind. If you haven't read this book, I highly recommend it. The discussion topic entails that adoption and redemption are entwined; that even creation waits and is groaning under the chains that hold it down. It longs to be free. It longs to be "adopted out" and set into the kingdom of God. Here's how Moore puts it, he says it much better than I do:

"You see that's the whole story of redemption. The universe was meant to be a home- where the image-bearers of God rule and serve under their Father. It was all to be ours. The primeval insurrection in the garden, though, turned the universe into an orphanage - the heirs were gone, done in by their appetites. A serpent now holds the cosmos in captivity, driving along the deposed rulers as his slaves. The whole universe is now an orphanage.
But then there's Jesus.
When we were still orphans, Christ became a substitute orphan for us. Though he was a son, he took on the humiliation of a slave and the horror of death (Phil. 2:6-8). Jesus walked to that far country with us, even to the depths of the hog pen that we'd made our home, and hung on a tree abandoned by his Father in our place."

I love that passage so much because it just makes so much sense to me. Orphanages are no more natural and make no more sense to me than most things in this world. Earlier this week a crazy man flew a single engine plane into an IRS building about a mile and half from our house. The world is broken and the evidence is all around. I love the image of Jesus walking to that far off land. We as adoptive parents often travel to far off countries, endure long plane rides and bad food. How little we have to complain about. How short-sighted my perspective often is.

To everyone asking us "what's happening with our adoption?" we are just stuck trying to decide who to do our homestudy with. There are two agencies familiar with Rwandan dossiers in or around Austin that we would be comfortable using, or we have the option for a much lower cost (as in half as much) to use an independent social worker to complete the homestudy. She does not have experience with Rwanda, other than doing two other couple's reports adopting from Rwanda that we know. I would ordinarily save money without thinking twice about it, but for some reason I am thinking twice about it and I don't know why. Cost is a real issue for us, however, so I am sort of in this limbo state and I just can not seem to make a decision for the life of me. Thoughts and/or advice are always appreciated! So that's where we're at - hope to be somewhere else next time you ask. Progress is always my goal.